Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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