He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
