I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
