I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
