we're blogging at a bar
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.