Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY