You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.