Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice