I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home