he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.