Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
