So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
