oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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