Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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