Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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