everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
