dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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