she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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