i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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