the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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