remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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