Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
