i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
