The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
