i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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