is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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