so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
