so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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