wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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