Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
