She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
