You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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