I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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