So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
