Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
