Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
