I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
