im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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