i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
