Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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