Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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