That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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