His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
