Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
