Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
