i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
