Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
