Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
