did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
