We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
