shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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