My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
