so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
