oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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