did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize