i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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