apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
3pm strippers are depressing
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize