I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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