The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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