you have to choose: penises or morals?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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