somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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