so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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